Oh. My. God. Becky...

Crisis in Our Nation's Pants!

One of my favorite quotes

“Get a sun lamp to keep you looking as if you have just come back from somewhere expensive”- Aristotle Onassis

Poems

Risk

And then the day came,
when the risk
to remain tight
in a bud
was more painful
than the risk
it took
to Blossom.
-Anaïs Nin

Your Laughter

Take bread away from me, if you wish,
take air away, but
do not take from me your laughter...

My love, in the darkest
hour your laughter
opens, and if suddenly
you see my blood staining
the stones of the street,
laugh, because your laughter
will be for my hands
like a fresh sword....

Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy
boy who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,
deny me bread, air,
light, spring,
but never your laughter
for I would die.
-Pablo Neruda

Someday my ship will come in...

I just didn't think that it would look like this! Sometimes I'm not really sure if I am being clear enough when I put my wants & desires out into the universe.

Her name is Panzerschiffe, which translates as armored ship, or Battleship, in German and I came across her washed up on a beach here in Santa Barbara this afternoon. Poor girl...

So here's the update, briefly, since my last post in February. Oh my... time does fly! Work (real work by real workers, not just in my own little mind) began on the landscaping at the house in Rancho Mirage. A new irrigation system was installed and lots of nasty old Hibiscus bushes were removed to make way for a low maintenance garden of gravel and succulents as well as the obligatory fruit trees. Unfortunately, summer came early to the desert and stayed well into late September, so we put the project on hold after the basics were in place. Now that Mother Nature is over her hot flashes and temps have cooled back down into the double-digits, the remaining cacti and gravel can be put in and, hopefully, I can put an end to it! It will be lovely and I hope that you all can come and enjoy it with me.

I was very fortunate to receive a job offer in Santa Barbara for the summer and Richard graciously offered his guest suite for me to inhabit for my stay. I sleep comfortably, he eats well and life is good all around. To have the opportunity to spend the best time of year in the most beautiful place in the country is rare indeed. I was welcomed with the scents of sweet jasmine in full bloom mixed with the salty sea air and clean, soothing eucalyptus when I arrived in June. The weather has been most accommodating, mid 70's and 80's, and sunny for the summer, with the exception of only a few smoky days during the annual wildfire's. It has been great to reacquaint myself with the town and its bountiful farmer's markets, lovely soft beaches, refreshing ocean and exten

Updates!

Check it out, ya'll can sign up now for email notifications for when this thing is updated instead of having to check it and be disappointed because I haven't been posting!

I'll be making greater attempts to update more often with my random ramblings or at least some silly or interesting things that I see or hear in my travels around town. Since my ex, Scott, has been visiting for a few days I must have some venting to do, right? See Scooter, I told you that I'd write aboutcha!

Gratitude

Tonight I am full. My tummy, mind and heart are full. Having just returned home from dinner with friends I am reflecting on my day, taking inventory of its events and my role in them. Did I accomplish what I had hoped to? How had I treated the people I encountered? Is there anything I said or did that I am not proud of?

I am blessed. Not for who or what I have, for all of that I am fortunate. I am blessed with the ability to acknowledge and treasure it all. Old friends, new friends, former lovers who are dear friends today, new tires, laughter, art, generous hugs, berry crumble, a warm comfortable bed and unconditional love. Yes, it was a good day and I can fall asleep with a content smile on my face.

All you can eat?

I was just watching the local evening news and this image caught my eye. The story was about a neighboring city enforcing its ban on free-standing signs for businesses. I'm not sure which I find more interesting: the fact that this Gentlemen's Club has a deli, or the fact that one can order a breakfast sandwich and beer with a salad!

I'm just happy that I have TiVo and able to capture the image and share it with you.

HomoMeter

My friend Redge from SF sent this link to me today of a Daily Show segment about Gay Marriage that is so funny. Unfortunately, I missed the airing of this show and my friends Don & Robert, who are being interviewed, never bothered to tell me about it! Bad boys. Anyway, I'll berate them in person when they are here in April for their annual spring break visit with their adorable kids, Carmen & James.

Character Defects

Procrastination. Lack of delegation. Omission. Fear of not being desired. Fear of admitting fear! Self imposed expectations. Disrespect. Selfishness. Communication issues!! And the list goes on...

At this weeks meeting with my sponsor we talked about Step 6 of the 12 Step program I am working as part of my recovery. Basically, it is about being ready and willing for one's God, Higher Power, whatever, to remove our defects of character. This is a tough one. Making a list of my less than desirable characteristics isn't difficult, however, letting go of them is. Although negative, they are comfortable, and that's what is so hard to change and possibly give up. But that is the point of this step. It's just about being willing to address them, to understand and ultimately redirect them to a more positive and productive direction.

My time at the Betty Ford Center, and continued fellowship in AA, taught me that I don't have to feel judged or "less than" because of my behavior. I'm just a human being and not a perfect being. I am fortunate to have a great sponsor who isn't perfect either, and might even share some of those negative characteristics with me (although I'm not one to talk about other people... Oh no I'm not!!!). So, Mr. Sponsor, I think that I have finished my assignment. I have addressed these negative characteristics and am willing to understand and change them. Not all of them at this very moment, but we both know the biggest and baddest one and that is what I am starting with. Today. Because it affects almost all of the others.

And now I am putting this blog to bed. It's been a busy day and tomorrow will be as well.

Chooch

Jim was visiting from Vegas this past weekend with what he says is his dog, Chooch, a Jack-a-Poo or something "creative" like that. I'm not really convinced that this creature is actually a dog, but rather the love-child product of a drunken night that Don King had with a crack ho in some alley. Jim truly believes that his Chooch is so ugly that he's automatically cute! I just don't think I'd go quite that far in describing it.



Oh wait, that isn't Chooch! Here he is...

Big Brother Brazil

I found this Shower Scene at the yummy blog, Made in Brazil. Check out the Black guy. I wonder what he did to get that dirty "down there"?!?!

The things people say

I was having dinner with Jim Saturday night and overheard this gem from a woman at the table next to us: "I prefer mono to pneumonia, actually."